I am an insignificant speck of nothingness in the grand scheme of this universe. I'm lost and dazed. Dying. Not for any one particular reason. But for many. I've lost my purpose. That's reason enough for death. I've lost my way. I can't find it. My end grows nearer every day with every breath. Now whether that is in hours or years i do not know. How does one find the path when they have lost it? I've never lost my way before. I've always known what it was no matter what circumstance I found myself in. The darkest and happiest of times. But now it is gone. No drive...no purpose...no hope. I've disenfranchised everyone I love and hold dear to me. I have no one close to me. No confidante. No one with nothing but faith in me and unconditional love for me. I'm dying. How will it be when I die? How will I die? I wish I knew. I have the power in my hands to know but not the courage. So I must be left to wonder. In peace? In pain and agony? Or maybe both? With pain and agony comes a great peace at times. Will I see and know it's coming or will it come stealthly? People don't think about their deaths very often. I must ask why? We celebrate the day of our birth every year...why do we so rarely think about the end of our life? It's the end of a great cycle. I do not want mourning or tears. I want a celebration of life. A celebration of good and bad memories. Hard times...easy times. Smooth and awkward. But only tears of happiness after my death.